Beyond Barriers | Breaking Through Stagnation
Life is unpredictable.
No matter how much we try to plan, we can’t control every twist and turn that comes our way. So, if we know that uncertainty is part of the deal, why do we fear it so much? Why do we let the unknown hold us back, even when it’s clear that embracing it could lead us to something better?
What holds us back?
I often hear people talk about procrastination as if it were a personality trait. "He's very slow to respond" or "I'm just lazy" tend to be the reasoning people give for their lack of forward movement. However, research shows that procrastination is, in fact, a coping strategy to avoid failure. The more we adopt this tactic, the more it becomes ingrained as part of who we are.
Think about the last time you delayed a task. Was it really because you didn’t feel like doing it? Or did the fear of not doing it perfectly keep you from even starting?
In a typical EFT session, I use the current fearful feeling as a guide to trace back to the root cause of such fear. Once it's been located, we combine talk therapy and tapping to rewire the brain and reframe the limiting thoughts until the emotional intensity dissolves. By understanding what is blocking you from fulfilling your desires, you can identify the resistance and work towards freeing yourself from an outdated narrative that no longer serves you.
The Flow State
The flow state, first identified by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, is that magical moment when we become completely absorbed in what we're doing. It’s when time seems to slip away, and we're operating at our peak performance with seemingly effortless focus. Athletes often call it "being in the zone," artists might describe it as being "in the groove," and entrepreneurs might experience it as those moments when everything just clicks into place.
To tap into this state more regularly, focus on tasks that slightly stretch your abilities but don’t overwhelm you. As you make progress, you’ll feel yourself falling into that zone where everything aligns. Coming back to the centre and realigning ourselves can help us stay in this flow and remain present. This effect, while simple in concept, can be remarkably powerful in practice.
Finding Balance
1. Self-awareness - Self-development starts with awareness. Understanding your emotional triggers, limiting beliefs, and behavioural patterns gives you the tools to make adjustments toward a balanced state of being. This means recognising what holds you back, embracing your imperfections, and finding ways to express yourself uniquely. Awareness can also help us notice signs and signals for forward movement rather than letting opportunities pass us by.
2. Reflection and Journaling - Whether it’s taking time out to decompress from life’s events or writing our experiences onto paper, deep reflection helps us process our thoughts and emotions so we can connect the dots and notice behavioural patterns. Once we begin to understand these patterns, we can break them to step out of auto-pilot mode and tune into a state that allows more growth and creativity.
3. Tap into Joy - Finding joy in everyday moments—whether it’s your morning coffee or a quiet walk—can gently pull you back into the flow of life. When we enjoy our activities, time seems to flow more smoothly. When we tackle tasks head-on rather than finding excuses to avoid them, the completion itself can bring joy into the process. Savouring even the smallest moments of joy will help you maintain momentum throughout your day.
4. Patience - Oftentimes, resistance in life is created by impatience. For me, impatience shows up as a sense of urgency, like time is running out, with self-imposed pressure rather than external demands. This very sense is what blocks me from being in the flow, where the magic happens. To soften this resistance, we can practise slowing down our inner rhythm. Try mindfulness exercises like deep breathing or taking regular breaks throughout your day to reset your pace.
5. Stepping Away - Sometimes when we reach a roadblock in a situation, tension builds up which can lead to a complete standstill. By creating space and distance, we can decompress and recalibrate to gain clarity. Even a five-minute walk outside can help break up mental tension and provide the clarity you need to move forward. Many find that spending time in nature helps reconnect with a more natural rhythm. Whether it’s walking barefoot on grass, sitting by the ocean, or simply being present in a garden, these moments of connection with nature can help us feel more grounded and centered.
6. Giving Thanks – True gratitude doesn’t require forcing yourself to feel something you don’t. It’s about acknowledging the things you genuinely appreciate, even on difficult days. The act of gratitude helps us remain in a positive mindset that feels natural and authentic, not something we try to "fake" or force ourselves to believe.
7. Find Your Tribe - Choose your community wisely. When we surround ourselves with like-minded people, we become each other's cheerleaders and move toward our goals in a supportive manner. Constantly having to defend yourself against naysayers can be incredibly draining. If you notice certain people don’t vibe with you, create a comfortable distance rather than trying to convince them about your beliefs and actions. Take small steps to limit your exposure to negative influences and seek out communities that align with your passions.
8. Work with a Coach - Sometimes we need an external perspective to help us see what we cannot see ourselves. A coach can serve as both a mirror and a guide, helping us identify our blind spots and navigate through challenges with clarity. Through targeted questioning and active listening, a coach can help uncover patterns you might have missed and provide tools tailored to your specific situation. The right coach will not only hold you accountable, but also create a safe space for exploration and growth, helping you stay aligned with your goals while working through any blocks that arise along the way.
My Practice for Growth
One of the ways I’ve learned to push past my comfort zone is by setting small challenges for myself every day or week. This could be something like trying a yoga pose I find difficult, like chaturanga or a headstand, or committing to finishing a book I’ve been meaning to read. These small but intentional actions help me stay in motion, build resilience, and grow over time. It’s the little steps that add up and make all the difference.
Breaking Free
Breaking out of our comfort zone starts with small daily choices. Each mindful decision to do things differently creates ripples of change in our lives. As we tune into this way of being, our path becomes clearer—not because obstacles disappear, but because we learn to flow with life rather than resist it. In embracing discomfort, we discover our capacity for growth.
Breaking free from stagnation starts with small, intentional changes. Begin by making one choice today that pushes you out of your comfort zone. As you take these steps, you’ll discover a path that feels more aligned with your true self.